the blink times

Andrea Fonseka blogged an entry that brought back a few thoughts. These are things I haven’t been paying much attention to, but I do feel a little bit inspired tonight. She writes with depth and simplicity; a prose style that will ALWAYS catch my attention, especially where intellectual women are concerned. So do away with all the poetic jargon, bubblegum idealism and pseudo-spiritual connections. Keep it sweet, simple and with your two feet firmly planted on our little planet—it’s easier to WOW me that way heh.

Her post, implicitly titled “Would you settle?”, begins with a situation that actually brings a fresh angle to many of the things I’ve been thinking about (pink letters are direct quotes).

Would you “settle” for someone?

If he or she was “good enough” but not “great”? If that person was “alright”, but didn’t blow your socks off? Would you wait enough long in a relationship and possibly waste both of your time, or hope that your love for him/her would grow and eventuate into what you always dreamt your lovelife would be?

It’s possible to eventually fall in love with someone. Hell, I’ve been that person that someone ‘eventually’ fell in love with. Was I happy being in doubt? No. Did I trust him? No. But was I essentially happy…? .

…No.

She never denies the possibility of actually falling in love with someone, but as a beautiful, sensible and if I may sincerely add intellectual individual, she only confirms the very idea that for women the ‘best’ kind of love is not about whether they get the guy they want.

Rather, it’s about their man desiring them, more than anything else.

It’s just amazing to see how the sexes are wired in such an intricate way. Try as they may, gays and lesbians can never figure that out, because their idea of ‘mutual exchange’ has been altered according to their own terms. Fact of the matter is, a girl desiring me is only good for my ego; no way will it ever make me die for her.

But when you invert the situation, the blokes are left with this question: can they actually bring themselves to love a girl who may not love them as much, or who may or may not grow to love them ‘eventually’?

As a guy, it is never too hard to want her and love her a little bit more than what she can offer you.

Because if I really want the best, that is the least I can do.

Well, I’m comfortable enough to be on my own now, than to be with someone for company’s sake. I choose to have enough respect for a person than to choose to be with them just ’cause they’re *there*. When I’m with someone, I want it to be because I *know* that he/she is someone that I would be proud to be with, that I can reflect with and upon, and whom I know is someone of calibre that… well, deserves me! Is that being narcissistic? No. I think its just a level of self assurance, and knowing one’s worth.

Because if deep down inside I *know* I can do better, then deep down inside, I wouldn’t be happy. We should always work towards obtaining the best that we can in life; be it being the best person we can be, being the best friend we can be, the best daughter, friend.. why should we not strive to be have the best partner we can have?